Assorted geeky things, reality tv, and bragging about my kids

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You love spaghetti, you had some just last night, didn't you?
  No I didn't!
Jordan, the boy's lying to me.
    Oh Perry, nobody likes a tattle-tale.
  Nobody does, Perry!  

Eliot, what's your ringtone?
  Jesus Take the Wheel, by Carrie Underwood.
    I'm carrying underwood right now.  It's funny, because it's true.

As for me, I spent my time getting coworkers I just met pregnant.

I'm not really sure how to phrase this, so I'm just gonna dive right in.  Have their been other penises?

I have seen Les Mis over a dozen times, so I have nothing against giant queens, per se.

My life is over.
  Come on, ya gotta focus on the positives.  For instance, the medical miracle that is one woman actually pregnating another woman.  Shadaisy!
    Coincidentally, I have a cousin named Shadaisy.

I mean, seriously.  Having a baby, having a baby, having a second baby, oh, having her husband's best friend's baby!  That's right Mona, everyone knows!  What are you looking at, Dr. Beardface?  You want a kid?  Because I swear to god I'll mount you right now.

Gather around, doomed new interns who just paged me.  Question,  what does this outfit tell you?
  You are entering a Joe Piscopo lookalike contest.
It means that I was just working out which incidentally is the last remaining activity I have in my adult life that qualifies as "me" time.  Other activities recently crossed off that list include my morning dump and all showers, you see my dear son Jack has decided that those are team sports.

Doesn't seem like much of a punishment for the kid from Kenya, I mean godsake, he could run all day.

There was some unexpected friendly fire, and even though I never got a chance to enter the village, there was a airstrike on one of the outlying regions... Anyway I spoke to the gals up in OBG and it's not uncommon for a woman to get pregnant even when there was no actual penetration.

No, I didn't have a condom.  And we decided not to have sex because we decided, and here's the kicker, I didn't want to get her pregnant.

Eliot snapped a little and decided that the interns are her babies.

Your sarcasm is wasted on me, ya giant pregnant beast.

I punched a whale, right in the face.

Let's cut to the chase, freakshow.  If you're a 44yr old man wearing a jumpsuit and you're not climbing into the cockpit of a rocketship I'd say you've made a lot of wrong turns along the way.  Good talk.

Dr. Dorian, this is a bit awkward but as chief of medicine I feel obligated to ask you about your relationship with Dr. Briggs. Was she naughty? I bet she's a hellcat.

More Scrubs Quotes

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Scones is another funny word but I don't like them, I prefer croissants
what was that awesome song played on the finale last night (the last song) after the engagement party... i love it
if u didnt find the song out yet, its "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional
The song is "Alive With the Glory of Love" by Say Anything
Somebody knows where I could find the lyrics of the song with Turk and JD called "Guy Love"? It's sooo amazing!
you will find the song guy love on Bearshare
thanks a latte..well that is hilarious. i left my wallet in my other pair of moccachinos


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